


Your Pretty...Lies?

by roman_is_precious_fight_me



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Aphobia, Aromantic Asexual Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Aromantic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Asexual Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Buckle up, Creativity | "Princey" Sanders Has an Eating Disorder, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders-centric, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gaslighting, Gender Dysphoria, Help, Hurt, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Internalized Aphobia, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, Misgendering, Multi, No Smut, Oops, Other, Pattons a bitch have i mentioned that-, Protective Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Trans Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, but i reserve my right to fluff and h/c in the future, but its there, he kinda just gasps and talks about bees, hear that roman, how?? do?? i??? tag??, janus and remus: team "help keep roman happy and loved", just saying, like a lot, logans alright, lying, no beta we die like men, not even the author knows whats happening, oh yeah most people dont torture roman, patton forces gender roles on roman, patton is abusive, pattons an asshole, raise your hand if you enjoy torturing yourself with angst, roman sanders is valid, roman: jkjk, roman: unless?, roman: what if i force myself to be in a relationship with an abusive person, sorry - Freeform, the format is weird bc i did this on mobile, this is an angst fest boys, thomas is a wreck, very angsty, very mild, why is that not a tag, yeah thats what i thought you kinky bitches, you all are gonna be bout ready to punch a bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27038329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roman_is_precious_fight_me/pseuds/roman_is_precious_fight_me
Summary: What happens when you run from your past, and maybe don't go back at all? Will it catch up to you? Will you make it out? These two are about to find out.Or...Patton's a bitch and im bouta throw hands(Trigger Warnings at the beginning of each chapter)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, BROTHERLY Creativitwins, Creativity | Roman Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, LAMP - Relationship, platonic roceit - Relationship
Comments: 41
Kudos: 73





	1. Is Roman Okay?

**Author's Note:**

> soo yeah. i dont really know what to say here but to counteract all the angst heres a little positivity bc theres a lot of people in the ss fandom that need it :{(  
> to whoever is reading this: YOU. ARE. VALID. Got it? 'cause if you dont i will not hesitate to attack you with love  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW (buckle up because theres a lot boys): Gaslighting, Unsympathetic Patton, Emotional Abuse, Lying, Harm (Patton has sharp nails and problems), Insecurity, Unspecified Eating Disorder (Self-Inflicted Starvation), Aphobia, VERY U!Patton, Internalized Aphobia, More Insecurity, Manipulation, Gender Dysphoria, Unknown Gender Dysphoria, Fat Shaming, Internalized Fat Shaming, Repression, More Repression, Another Truckload of Repression-.  
> 

_Janus watched the light sides laughing in the common room. He sighed._

_Thomas needed to take care of himself. But the others wouldn't listen to him..._

_And then an idea struck him. It was quite possibly his dumbest plan yet, and he was absolutely certain it would work._

And that, my friends, is how Janus ended up dressed in an uncomfortable princely outfit outside of the light sides commons, the real Roman off on some 'noble quest' in the Imagination or some shit. (At least that's what Morality had told them.) 

He took a deep breath and walked in.

"No need for applause, my loves, it's just me, your friendly neighborhood prince," 'Roman' said smoothly, "fine, fine, if you _really_ want to, you can clap."

"Princey," Virgil acknowledged, not looking up from his position atop the refrigerator.

He was currently in a profound conversation with Logan about how bees are able to fly because _it's physically impossible, Logan-_

Faux-man decided to find Patton, for he was the one Janus needed to convince to give Thomas some more slack. Ever since the most recent episode-- well, things haven't been the best in the mindscape. Patton had apologized to Roman, and everything _seemed_ to be fine with the light sides, but there was something...off about Roman. 

There had been a sort of civil war between the dark and light sides. See, Janus and Remus wanted Thomas to prioritize his mental health, but the light sides held on to the idea the Thomas was perfect and cared about his friends more than himself. 

This, of course, had a detrimental effect on Thomas' health. He was getting less and less sleep with Anx-..uh.. _Virgil,_ working overtime, not to mention the constant moral dilemmas presented by Patton.

"Pattycake!" He called, using the affectionate nickname he'd heard Roman say once while he walked down the hallway where the moral side's room was. 

The blue door was _sickening_ , covered in flowers and hearts with 'Morality' etched on it in a strange combination of cursive and chicken scratch. He knocked, and while he waited, observed the door. 

Pictures of puppies were taped to the door, surrounded by little paper hearts. There was a big picture of the light sides; Roman was big and dramatic, laughing at an embarrassed Logan who had been caught in his unicorn onesie. Virgil was falling off of the fridge in the background, just a purple blur, Patton rushing to help him. 

The picture had been taken by Thomas (a _self_ ie, if you will) with Thomas' smiling face in the foreground despite the chaos going on behind him.

Janus wasn't in the picture.

He never was.

Patton opened the door, an excited and happy smile on his face before he recognized 'Roman', face shifting into an expression of disgust. _That's odd,_ Janus thought, _why would he be_ **_disgusted_ ** _by one of his boyfriends?_

Nothing, and he meant _nothing_ , could have prepared him for what came next. 

"I thought I told you to leave for a week; you do know what happens when you disobey orders, don't you, you little shit?" And with that, his arm was grabbed roughly as he was tugged into the room, Morality's nails digging painfully into his arm.

~~~~~~

Roman sat in the Imagination, tears rolling down his face. He was hungry, he was so fucking hungry. He could summon anything he wanted in the Imagination, as long as it was within Thomas's creative boundaries. Hell, he could summon a feast fit for royalty with the flick of his wrist **(not that he _was_ royalty) ** . But he couldn't ~~**wouldn't** ~~ eat, he was already fat enough. 

Maybe that's the real reason Patton sent him here, he was tired of looking at his pathetic face. Even _Roman_ was tired of looking at his face. Everything about him was wrong **wrong WRONG.** His arms were too fat, his stomach was too big, and don't even get him _started_ on his thighs. They would expand to approximately the size of fucking _Texas_ every time he sat down.

_"I'm sorry...I-I don't like you guys like that." He had said after Patton and the others had told him they were in love with him._

_Patton had a hurt expression on his face, looking close to tears. "Why not? We care for you, and in return, you tell us you_ **_hate us_ ** _?"_

_Roman was taken aback. Patton had never spoken to him, or anyone for that matter, like that. "I never said that," he muttered. "I don't hate you, I..."_

_"Spit it out, Princey, we don't have all day," came Virgil's honestly concerned reply. Even if the anxious side wasn't the best at affection, Roman could tell when he was being genuine._

_"I'm...I'm aromantic, okay? You-you know that." His voice tapered into a whisper near the end after he saw Patton's face fill with rage, his own being flooded with fear._

_Then a slap sounded across his face, leaving a faint pink mark when the moral side's hand had connected with his cheek. He heard the others gasp, and Virgil had attempted to yell at Patton, but he ignored him, instead opting to scold Roman._

_"How many times have I told you not to say that?! You know full well that Thomas is gay, and that means you are too! Do you mean to tell me that you're homophobic?" Patton was fuming now, his voice lowered an octave, and that was bad. That was really, really, bad._

_"What?! No, of course not! I just-"_

_"Just what, mister? You've been acting all high and mighty around here for a while. I think it's time someone reminded you that while you're a prince, I am the_ **king** . _Go to the Imagination for a week. I want you to write me an apology letter- no buts," he had added when Roman tried to mention how unfair that was._

That's how he ended up here, pen in his hand, various sheets of paper that had turned out too passive-aggressive or too...well, for lack of a better word, too _true_. 

Patton had grabbed Roman's **(fat)** arm like he always did, (too tightly, painted nails digging into his skin) and dragged him into the Imagination, locking the door with the Master Key.

The Master Key could lock and unlock all doors in the mind palace, from the Memories to the Subconscious. Not even Roman could override it's power without great difficulty, not that he would try, for his punishment for leaving would be far worse than if he just stayed put. It was a very dangerous tool, so, naturally, Morality had been trusted with it.

He'd used it only once before when Roman had been in the shower and didn't hear his knock. Patton had heard running water and panicked, assuming the worst. He had burst into the bathroom and threw open the shower curtain, surprised to see an alive (and very naked) Roman. 

Roman had seen how Patton has looked at him, disgust evident in his face. To make matters worse, he took away Roman's shaving cream and razors, claiming "boys don't shave". Before he left, he had one last comment, and that's what broke Roman.

_"Oh, and suck in your stomach, fat is not a good look on you."_

_Fat is not a good look on you._

_Fat._

_He was fat._

From then one he hated his stomach, he had tried everything to make it flat, running, dieting, even _crunches_ (god, he hated crunches), but nothing helped. **(So he had turned to his last resort. And it had worked. ~~For the most part~~.) **

But his stomach wasn't even what he hated most about himself. 

It was his chest. 

He didn't know why. ~~**(Yes, he did.)** ~~, but he'd always hated it. 

~~**Come to think of it, he'd always hated anything remotely masculine about his body; his hair, his butt, _that_ thing. ** ~~

Thomas had worn a suit to Lee and Mary Lee's wedding, and he _hated it._ It was terribly uncomfortable, and the number of times they had been called handsome was unsettling. ~~**(But when Lee called them beautiful...)** ~~

He couldn't seem to focus on his letters, and if he did, they came out wrong.

One of them read, "-sorry that you're a hateful person and can't accept me for who I am," another said, "-can't you just accept that I don't see you guys in a romantic way?"

He knew Patton would punish him even more for talking back. Why was he talking back anyway? _Patton was right-_ **no, NO, Patton was bad he was bad bad bad!** _Roman was probably a homophobic bigot and-_ **no! no, Roman, you just want to be accepted for who you are. Patton's the bigot in this case-** _Patton was just trying to help him see how rude he was being. The other sides...'love' him. Really, he should just suck it up and-_

And that's when the door to the Imagination slammed open.

"Roman, we gotta go. Now." Standing there, hair disheveled and out of breath, stood a very scared Deceit. And when Deceit was scared, well, that meant it was time to fucking _run._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked this chapter! i'll probably be updating this very irreguraly bc of school and honestly i have like zero game plan so im as clueless as you guys. feel free to comment any ideas you have for the story (small/broad things like "angst" or "logan bakes cookies" that wont affect the main plot. Have an amazing day/night and love yourself (or ill do it for you)


	2. First of All, Her Name Isn't 'Roman'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus is c o n f u s e d, Patton is still a no-no, and overall, everyone just needs help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: Ok so I k n o w that i havent updated in a while, and this chapter isn't particularly long or good or anything (its actually quite short, but i wanted to get something out)
> 
> i have nothing to say for myself-
> 
> Also, the reason Janus' name isnt used in Roman's POV is bc I decided to chop of the entirety of SvS redux except for when they went over how the wedding went 
> 
> ALSO ALSO, referring to our main character with their deadname and pronouns in the story is rly hard for me :,( I promise after this there will be v scarce deadnaming (only scarce bc Patton still exists and main character is buried unders layers of repression and confusion) as their name and proper pronouns will be discovered/revealed in the next chap :D
> 
> TW: Mention of Patton, Fainting, Slight Self-Deprecating Thoughts, Mention of Genocide (It's remus, what did you expect)

Roman was confused. Why was the _snake_ of all people here? "Go? Go where? Why are you here? Where's Patton? Is Thomas okay? What's going-"

"Oh my god," he paused to take a deep breath, " _do_ keep talking. This is," another breath, " _totally_ not urgent or anything."

To accentuate his point, he grabbed Roman's wrist and started running towards the newly re-sealed Imagination exit. 

"Wait, Deceit, you can't open that, it was locked with the-"

"Master Key," Deceit finished for him, sighing. 

"Why didn't I expect this... I mean, _I've_ never liked Patton, but I had assumed that-.. that... well, that at least he would treat the light sides with even just a _bit_ of human decency.." Deceit muttered as he searched for another exit, having abandoned holding onto Roman's wrist a while ago.

Roman opted to ignore the Patton comment.

He watched Deceit search for quite a while with apt fascination, then said, "You won't find it, you know."

"What?" Deceit asked, turning to look at him, having been lost in his concentration.

Roman cleared his throat. "Another exit. The only other one is..well.." he trailed off. He wouldn't venture there, not after what happened last time. He _wouldn't._

"The other one is...?" the snake questioned.

Roman looked at him. "In Remus' side of the Imagination."

Deceit shuddered, "I've been there before... after Virgil left. Ree went in and didn't leave until at least a week later when I dragged him out. I had found him brutally murdering an entire village of Patton constructs, which _,_ honestly, _mood,_ but I never want to go there again."

(Constructs were human-like figures that could be given a mind and face or remain blank. They were basically the NPCs of the Imagination. Roman's side was filled with them, because they were his friends ~~**everyone else hated him**.~~)

Deceit sighed. "But...well, we have to. If it's our only way out..."

Roman contemplated this for a moment. A nagging question came to his mind, and he said it, of course, because he has absolutely no social filter whatsoever. "Why do you want to leave so badly anyways? I mean, I know you don't want to stay here stuck, that's obvious, but why the urgency?"

Deceit looked like he was about to answer him, but then something unfortunate happened. 

Roman fainted.

Lucky for him, a certain snake had already began rushing to him. Deceit caught the prince just as he slipped into unconsciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Janus was... confused, to say the least. After running from a homicidal Patton that had found out he wasn't Roman after... well, after _that,_ he burst into the Imagination to hide, only to find Roman crying in the Imagination, paper and pencils strewn about.

"Roman, we gotta go. Now." He had said, surprised the princely side was there but understanding the situation. He had to save Roman from the light sides, he just _had_ to, there was no question.

He cared for Roman, that much was evident. So when the extravagant side had passed out on him after Janus had recently learned of the abuse, it was fair to say he was a _bit_ concerned.

"Roman? Roman, buddy, you gotta wake up. Wake. Up! Darling, you have to, c'mon, don't toy with me, princess!"

Roman's eyes shot open, and Janus let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

"What did you call me?" he questioned.

Janus stared at him blankly. Did he seriously just...? "Oh, _come on!_ You just passed out and you're concerned about a stupid nickname, I-.." 

His words trailed off when he saw the hopeful look in Roman's eyes. "...Princess?"

Roman seemed to completely light up at that. The side was so happy that he looked like he was about to cry. 

That didn't make sense, though. Remus had told him that Roman was aromantic, so he couldn't have a crush on him. _Maybe he just likes pet names...?_ But he had called him nicknames before! This made no-

Wait a minute... Roman's love for crossdressing, the way his eyes lit up when Lee had called Thomas beautiful, the way he reacted to the nickname-! Of course, how could Janus not have noticed! 

"Oh! I'm so sorry, can I have your name and pronouns?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oo cliffhanger~ im open to name suggestions bc you know what im just wingin it here- i already have one picked out but im not deadset on it so I'll probably use a name from the comments (yay) and ofc I will give credit for the person(s) who suggested the name :)


	3. It's Actually-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF. That's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome my children to a short filler chapter that i managed to get up very fricken soon,,pure fluff and validation bc god knows ro needs it. after this,,,well,,lets just say youll need this fluff too
> 
> TW: Slight Mention of Past Patton-Related Issues, Patton, Titanic Reference (that movie made some of us very emotional okay-)  
> Thats about it- enjoy the fluff while it lasts,,,,dundundunnn

"What?" Roman was confused. Why did Deceit just ask for his name and pronouns? Didn't he already know them? Weren't... weren't they all men? ...That's what Patton had always said..

"Your name and pronouns? Did I misunderstand the situation? I'm so sorry, I thought-"

And it clicked.

He- they? She? They?

...She?

_..She._

_She._

He- ... _She,_ liked the way that sounded. It was a weird feeling, finally referring to himse- _her_ self with the proper pronouns. It felt... _right_. _God,_ it felt right. It felt like finally, _finally,_ she was getting the breath of air she had been deprived of for so long. Why hadn't h- why hadn't _she,_ done this before? She had been questioning why she felt the way she did about herbody for the longest time, and the answer had been this simple? She laughed. And laughed. And, god, she laughed, because she hadn't felt this free in such a long time, and-

And Deceit was staring at her. 

"Uh, why are you laughing? Did I say something funny? Was it something I did? I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-"

He cut himself off when she gave him a genuine smile. **(How long had it been since she had last smiled like that?)**

"You _have_ to stop apologizing," she laughed "Don't you realize what you just did?"

Now Deceit looked genuinely confused. "Um, asked... for your... pronouns? I'm sorry, I really don't understand what you mean."

"You big dummy," she playfully shoved him. "You just gave me the biggest moment of realization I've ever had. And believe me, that's a high bar to beat."

"Realiza...? Wait, you mean to say _I_ just caused your trans awakening?"

She smiled shyly at him, "Yeah, I guess. Thanks for that."

"Well shit," Deceit replied with a laugh. "I didn't realize you hadn't already figured it out."

She shrugged, "I'm dumber than I look."

"Nah, not dumb, just dense," he teased.

"Hey!"

"Just sayin'! Anyway, you never answered my question."

"Your... oh! Right, She/her, what about you?"

"He/Him. Do you have a name, Mystery Woman?"

She couldn't have faked the pure happiness that had jolted through her at that moment. _Gender euphoria,_ she remembered from a conversation with Joan, _the feeling I get when someone refers to me as my proper gender,_ the enby had said.

"Uh-... I- Um..well... not-..not yet," she admitted.

"That's okay, d'you want me to help you pick one out?" 

"You'd do that for me?"

Deceit shrugged, "Why not? You helped me out in the courtroom, and you only really did what you thought was best. You're a good guy- sorry, _person._

She smiled at that. He had corrected himself, despite his mistake.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd- uh, I'd like that."

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

He groaned. It had been 2 hours, and they still hadn't chosen a name for the woman sitting next to him. He glanced down at their list of potential names, scrawled in a mix of her fancy script and Janus' slanted cursive.

_**Rowan (close enough to deadname to minimize dysphoria from deadnaming)** _

~~_Ramona (too close to deadname)_ ~~

~~_Rhea (just reminds everyone of the fake-stone-zeus-lady)_ ~~

_**Rose (Idk, i just like roses ig?)** _

_Roseanna/Rosanna (too longgg!)_

~~_Rosie (sounds stupid honestly)_ ~~

_**Lotte (sounds cool but kinda reminds me of a latte)** _

_**Lupa (She-Wolf, from the Remus-Romulus myth)** _

_**Lupita (Fancy form of Lupa)** _

~~_Silvia (too.. medieval)_ ~~

_**Silver (modern form of Silvia, one of Romulus' mother's names)** _

__

"Okay, okay, you can cross off Lotte."

"Lotte? 'Kay," Janus crossed off the name. "Now we have Silver, Lupita, Lupa, Rowan, and Rose left."

"Ugh, this is too hard!" She shouted, dragging out the 'd'. "How do I choose one?"

"I dunno, maybe just.." he gestured wildly. "You know?"

A deadpan look.

"Yeah, yeah, okay."

"'Rowan' is too close to 'Roman', and 'Lupa' is weird to pronounce.".

He crossed them off the list.

"It's now a showdown between Silver, Lupita. and Rose. Who. Will. Win!" he joked, accentuating each word with a poke to her cheek.

She rolled her eyes at him, but any annoyance was demoted with the smirk gracing her features, "Take off Lupita too, to much connection to the weird wolf who, like, breastfed two human babies."

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "Finally, we're almost there. Almost", he fake gasped. "Al-...most!"

"Don't be so dramatic, I've made the final decision."

Janus was legitimately excited at this. "Wait, really? Tell me! Tell me! Tell-" he chanted

"Oh my god, _shut up_ and maybe I will." she tapped him on his nose.

"Did you just boop me." he deadpanned.

"Maybe..." She waggled her eyebrows at the snake across from her. "Anyways~! I choose... Rose!"

Janus squealed. He literally squealed, and no, he will _not_ deny it. He went straight up (haha 'straight',,,, sureee jan) feral upon hearing the verdict. "Yes, yes, yes! I _love_ that name! I was hoping you'd pick that one. It fits you so well, plus it has the added benefit of being from the most dramatic, romantic love story of the century, which, honestly, is your whole aesthetic." 

Rose was about to respond the his rambling when the door burst open for the second time that day ( _why_ did that keeping happening to them) and in walked the side they least wanted to see, raging mad with a homicidal glint in his eye. 

Patton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo~ name reveal, baby! the names included in the list as well as the reasons behind them were from my actual list in determining the names so- a lil sneak peak into how author's dum brain works lol,,,also just tmi, rose fainted from exhaustion, i was gonna mention that but like eh- 
> 
> i guess i didnt rly end up using any of the suggested names, but for the ones I yeeted into the list, heres the credit:  
> Lupina/Lupa/Lotte: Aimandfire and SyriaKozma. Thank you guys for the wonderful suggestions, i rly appreciate your feedback <33!!

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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